yellow lights

Cow (acrylic on canvas)

I've done things in my life that without a doubt have felt right.  They were easy decisions without much contemplation.  Should we try to have kids? Yes. Should I stay home? Yes. Should we get tickets to that band we love? Absolutely yes.

More often than not though, I struggle with decisions, and I know some of the ones that have been easy for me, have been hard or not even a question for you.  They can be big or small to an outsider, but in my heart they become mountains.  I go into worse case scenario mode (Enneagram 6 here!) and I wonder about all the things that could happen. I wonder about what God wants for me and why He can't just give me a green or red light.

Although I absolutely believe in absolutes, I also have learned in the past several years of adulthood, about the gray areas- or the yellow lights perhaps of life.  Yellow lights may say "stop" or "proceed with caution" or "you better speed up if you want to get through this one."  There's a lot of ways to go through the light and if you're like me it's hard to know what to do.

Fear can paralize my decision making all together.  Thankfully right now I have a two year old who could win competitions for the pouty face he makes. His lip hangs low and it's pretty impressive, and also thankfully pretty cute.

He pouts about not being able to play basketball or tennis like his big brothers and having to stay home when we know he won't be able to sit still during a movie.

The good thing that he doesn't know but I do, is what's ahead.  Parenthood often gives us that birds eye view and glimpse at what God see's for our own life, and I know right now that cute little pout is reminding me to not have the same attitude when I can't see what's next in my own life.

You see, God's been so faithful to me this weekend in reminding me to have childlike faith right now.  To not pout, but trust He has my best in mind.  He works all things together and He isn't stopped or hindered by yellow or even red lights.

He has opened doors for me and given me moments of hope, fulfillment and joy.  He knows what's ahead and when I look on and wonder how I'll make it through or what will happen if...He quiets me and is asking me to just trust, have faith, and proceed to the next light.

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