Accepting the Mom you're Not (And Embracing the One You Are)

 Something I love about getting older and being in this motherhood thing longer and longer, is the ability to let go and just embrace who I am.  I know more of the Mom I am and the friend I am and the wife I am than I did 6 years ago when I had my first.  Seasons change of course and I know someday I'll get back to stirring risotto for 45 minutes, my husband and I will go on more dates, and I'll have time to have lunch with friends, but for today, I'm all about Costco, freezer meals, and Amazon Prime. 

Nothing, I repeat nothing, is wrong with this.  If you're a paper plates Mom or an ordering out Mom- give yourself grace.  If your kids are healthy and happy and your marriage is surviving this demanding season, great.  If you are feeling fulfilled, awesome. If eating on paper plates is yelling at you, say no to something so you have time to do your dishes.

Awhile ago - probably a year ago?!- a working mama asked me how I do it (staying at home) and told me she didn't think she could.  I know that statement is a really loaded one, but let's just dissect a tiny thing that it made me think about.

It made me wonder if she thinks I have lunches packed the night before.  I wondered if she thinks I spend all morning reading to my kids, and if they never watch shows.  Does she think we attend every story time at the library and always have homemade meals on the table at 5?  Overall, it just made me wonder what her perception was, and if she wasn't giving herself enough grace for being a good mama, working one and all.

These words have been on my heart because I think it's a message us Mama's need to hear, and one I need to remind myself of too.  As we enter into this holiday season-- say no to some things.  Focus on what matters.  Plan to see friends.  Schedule things that matter to you.  Say no to things that suck your energy and aren't life-giving.  Be gracious to yourself.  Send Christmas cards, or don't.  But let's try to do this.  Let's not let the hustle whisk us away and miss these sweet years.  Let's not miss the babies and the toddlers and the expressions on their faces when they see Santa and snow and drink hot cocoa for the first time.  Let's let them throw leaves and jump in all the hay.  And then, let's bathe them and read them stories and not worry about all the pressures we put on ourselves, or society does, or for some people their families.  You're an adult mama.  Do what's best for you.  Feed your kids frozen meals.  Have date nights in.  Read a book.  Light a fire.  Don't worry about what parties you're invited to, and those you're not.   Growing up, though bittersweet for the little's, is pretty great for us.

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