Skip to main content

Accepting the Mom you're Not (And Embracing the One You Are)



 Something I love about getting older and being in this motherhood thing longer and longer, is the ability to let go and just embrace who I am.  I know more of the Mom I am and the friend I am and the wife I am than I did 6 years ago when I had my first.  Seasons change of course and I know someday I'll get back to stirring risotto for 45 minutes, my husband and I will go on more dates, and I'll have time to have lunch with friends, but for today, I'm all about Costco, freezer meals, and Amazon Prime. 

Nothing, I repeat nothing, is wrong with this.  If you're a paper plates Mom or an ordering out Mom- give yourself grace.  If your kids are healthy and happy and your marriage is surviving this demanding season, great.  If you are feeling fulfilled, awesome. If eating on paper plates is yelling at you, say no to something so you have time to do your dishes.


Awhile ago - probably a year ago?!- a working mama asked me how I do it (staying at home) and told me she didn't think she could.  I know that statement is a really loaded one, but let's just dissect a tiny thing that it made me think about.

It made me wonder if she thinks I have lunches packed the night before.  I wondered if she thinks I spend all morning reading to my kids, and if they never watch shows.  Does she think we attend every story time at the library and always have homemade meals on the table at 5?  Overall, it just made me wonder what her perception was, and if she wasn't giving herself enough grace for being a good mama, working one and all.

These words have been on my heart because I think it's a message us Mama's need to hear, and one I need to remind myself of too.  As we enter into this holiday season-- say no to some things.  Focus on what matters.  Plan to see friends.  Schedule things that matter to you.  Say no to things that suck your energy and aren't life-giving.  Be gracious to yourself.  Send Christmas cards, or don't.  But let's try to do this.  Let's not let the hustle whisk us away and miss these sweet years.  Let's not miss the babies and the toddlers and the expressions on their faces when they see Santa and snow and drink hot cocoa for the first time.  Let's let them throw leaves and jump in all the hay.  And then, let's bathe them and read them stories and not worry about all the pressures we put on ourselves, or society does, or for some people their families.  You're an adult mama.  Do what's best for you.  Feed your kids frozen meals.  Have date nights in.  Read a book.  Light a fire.  Don't worry about what parties you're invited to, and those you're not.   Growing up, though bittersweet for the little's, is pretty great for us.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Guest Post: New Mom (Anytime) Gift Guide

Today's Guest Post is from Michelle Perez of Simply Complicated.  I met Michelle in college and since then she has gotten hitched, had a baby, and lives in Guatemala where her family are doing some great work.  Read more on her blog and until then, check out her gift guide for new moms!  Thanks, Michelle!



I am a new mom to and am still very much in the ups and downs of learning how to how to take care of a very small human and myself. Even though I think all new moms would be happy with a nap, a long shower and a meal on their doorstep I have put together a gift guide that stretches a bit beyond the basic. You could say this is just in time for the holidays, but the truth is, this is an anytime of year gift guide. Enjoy.

1. Sugar & Spice Kitchen Towels We all know new moms like and appreciate home cooked meals. But I was surprised as a nursing mom, how hungry I was all. the. time. Friends of mine were so sweet, because they brought over a meal AND muffins or bread or baked goods …

quesadilla pie

This is a dinner I've been thinking about and trying to figure out when I'll make it next.  It'll probably happen sometime this weekend because it was simple and oh-so-satisfying.  It was a perfect new-mom meal. New-Mom as in I had time to make it, and I'd like to bring it to new mom's too.



I'm tempted to even make a few and stock my freezer with them for when we're hungry or when I need to bring someone a meal, a task I think I'm finally now up for seeing as I've been able to figure out our schedule more and get back in the kitchen.

Apart from pulling apart the chicken this dish comes together really quickly.  The original recipe calls for 1/3 cup chopped pickled jalapenos, an item I thought we had in our fridge but it turns out what I thought were pickled jalapenos were actually molding olives.  Not so great.  Next time I'll add in the jalapenos but they're definitely optional.


So this weekend, you should make this.  Dare I say my mouth i…

canned tomato sauce with basil and garlic

When I think about canning I want to make things that I'll use year round.  I want staples that I can go to that'll make pasta sauce, chili and stuffed peppers that much more delicious.  I want to make a recipe that tastes amazing in large part because the tomatoes used in it were fresh in the summer then preserved.
Although I did can some tomatoes last summer I ended up not using them as often as I thought I would.  I still found myself going to the store for diced tomatoes here and there when I should have been in the mindset to use my canned tomatoes and just crush them into the recipe.  Canning fail.

So, this year I decided to make some sauce.  It was an all day affair, let me tell you, but worth it in the end.  I looked to the Ball website for canning recipes and used their recipe for tomato sauce with basil and garlic.  You can see the original recipe here.  
I did tweak it some.  I didn't strain the sauce but rather pureed it in the Vitamix which really did away wi…