Maybe I just Won't Sleep

As a parent my day is filled to the brim, and many days overflowing.  I have to remind myself to sit and attempt a few sips of hot coffee before the "I'm so hungry" words are uttered, and once those happen, we are off to the races.  Although for a season our kids were in bed by 7 PM, we are now in a season of three separate bedtimes.  Evan, Tucker, then Anderson.  By 9 o'clock (it's summer..) let's hope they're all asleep.  At this point, all those things I had energy to do at 10 AM and maybe even 4:30 PM seem long gone, unless I get a second, third, fourth? wind and think, "maybe I just won't sleep."

Maybe I just won't sleep and then I'll wake up to a clean, picked up house in the morning.  Maybe I just won't sleep and I'll finally download all those pictures from preschool graduation weeks ago.  Maybe I won't sleep and I'll get some work done.  Maybe I won't sleep and I'll blog again- because even though words have escaped me and I don't have anything profound to say- I want to be back in this space.  I'm letting myself write even when it's not perfectly thought about or crafted in my head beforehand, and I'm writing because tonight while I wrote out some prayers, something hit me.

I want to live a gracious and creative life.

Writing is a part of that for me.  At one time it was painting and drawing, and I'm hopeful with a new space in our house, I'll get to paint again.  I want to live graciously because everyone trying to get ahead for their own benefit kinda makes me want to gag.  Life is short- what matters most is not a car or beach house.  I want to be gracious with what I have and live a life content with however that looks.

Here I am again world- writing and sharing and opening these pages again because I don't want to stay away that long again.


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